So I’ve been having this problem a lot lately of waking up in the middle of the night. And it’s not just for five minutes or something where I roll over and go back to sleep. I’m up. For hours. Apparently I have a lot on my mind these days. At first, I always try to put myself back to sleep by praying, because that used to work. I pray for peace. I recite a calming verse. But it’s not helping me get back to sleep, so I switch gears and pray for my friends: A friend who is trying to get pregnant. Another one who just had another bad breakup. A friend whose mom has cancer. The list goes on. I wish I could say I was fervently praying for these people – focused and intentional prayers – but it is the middle of the night after all and I’m up because I have a lot on my mind. So inevitably my prayers morph into my own thoughts and worries and my mind is off and running again. Like a hamster wheel.
A former counselor of mine recommended having a time set aside each day to process everything – a very intentional time to write out worries or concerns. (This was back when I was teaching full time and would lay awake thinking about my students or the lessons I had to teach – apparently stress does not magically disappear just because you’re not working). So I try to journal like the counselor suggested, but I’m not doing it on a daily basis like I should. Hence, the blog. In a way, this is what this blog will be for me (and for Joe) – a way to intentionally document and process all these thoughts and events as we prepare for Costa Rica. I will start by briefly listing the worries that keep my mind running at night and then each of these will become their own posts eventually:
2) The big move: Seattle to San Jose
Until I write more, let’s just pray that I can start sleeping more, worrying less, and truly take to heart Matthew 6:34: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.