Monday, June 20, 2011

Night Waking Worry #1: Kate’s Speech

As we mentioned in our last newsletter, we are getting Kate evaluated this Wednesday for possible speech delay.  This worry plagues me most in the middle of the night, so even though I typically have perspective on this, when I’m thrashing around in my covers, the “what ifs” can quickly get out of control. 

What will the evaluation be like?  Will I feel pressure for Kate to “perform”? What if she has a hearing problem?  What if they want her to have therapy for 6 or 12 months?  What will that look like?  What will that cost?  Will it even help?  What if…?

Then I start feeling sad because my daughter is not developing “perfectly” and this leads to shame knowing that I have some pretty significant issues surrounding performance and perfection.  A prayer quickly follows… God help me to feel your peace and your love, knowing that you love us regardless of our performance.  Help me to love Kate in the same way.  Thank you Jesus.

We can’t wait for some answers though, and will be sure to share them with you soon. 


  1. Will be praying for the evaluation tomorrow . . . and for better sleep! Love you all!!

  2. I can relate to what you wrote about your anxiety about Kate's "performance". I often have to remind myself that my daughters are uniquely individual creations, not mini-me's (we are all thankful for that!) Kate -- and you and Joe are completely held in God's grace. Thank you for blogging so we can join you in prayer. There are good things in store.

    Also, Chris and Megan will be here soon. Can we plan a dinner on BI while they're here?

    Love to you,

  3. We are praying Jennie and Joe! Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

    Lord, please surround Jennie and Joe with your calming spirit. Allow them to experience the freedom you have for them. Protect their dreams, Father. Allow them to sleep deeply and securely, knowing you have them. Amen.

    Love you!